Enron by Lucy Prebble

Scene 7: Skilling's Office

Skilling I hate those guys. I hate those legislators and politicians – not because they restrict business and fuck up the markets, even though they do and it does. I hate government because I know those guys. I went to school with them. And let me tell you, the weakest, most ignorant, most drunken fucking incompetents went to work for the US government. Because they weren't smart enough for the private sector. And that's the truth. I got head-hunted. And those bottom-of-the-fucking-barrel, frat-party know-nothing fucks who never got the call design the regulations for an energy market they know nothing about. It's my job to find ways round that. Why should we respect ineptitude? Why should we look at the lazy fucking regulations they've put in place by committee and go, 'Yeah, you suck at your jobs, fine, we'll ignore that and just suck at ours too.' Who do you think is gonna win in the end?! The greedy or the inept?! We're not perfect, but wait till you see the other guys.
Skilling is in a meeting with the Lawyer.
Skilling So why the fuck are people picketing my house?!
Skilling I want you to represent me, not the company. I didn't kill anyone.
Skilling This is crazy.
Skilling What do you mean?
Skilling Death Star?!
Skilling That's a perception problem.
Skilling Will this affect the stock price?
Skilling Cos that cannot happen.
Skilling But we didn't do anything illegal in California.
Skilling I got a group of the smartest people in the world who can tell you why what they did was not illegal.
Skilling I don't think you understand how markets work.
Skilling You don't get to choose! You don't get to say, we like this much of free markets but not the whole thing. That's not free!
Skilling So what are you interested in?
Skilling Those guys deserve medals.
The red box throbs from deep underneath.
Skilling Yeah. OK. But you can make this go away?
Skilling OK. OK.
A large Enron Security Officer appears in Skilling's doorway.
Skilling looks dishevelled and highly strung.
Skilling Yes, please. Yeah.
Skilling Thanks.
The Lawyer leaves.
Skilling Hey.Sorry, this is a little – can you, can you sweep this office for … equipment or recording …
Skilling Maybe, something –
Skilling No, no, just take a look –
Skilling No –
Skilling I don't know. I just got a feeling.
The Security Officer checks around the office surfaces.
Skilling How's things in Maintenance?
Skilling Sure.
Skilling You all got your 401Ks? You're all OK?
Skilling Yeah. Good.Listen, can you hear, like a hiss like, you can tell something's on …? Wait, maybe under …
He gets down on the floor. He eventually puts his ear near the floor.
The Security Officer gets down on the floor too. He copies Skilling who puts his ear to floor. They listen, lying on the floor together.
Skilling There's a sort of, ticking sound.
They listen.
Skilling's head is leaning on his wrist with his watch on. He gets up, embarrassed.
Skilling It was earlier.
Skilling / Yeah.
Skilling Sure.It's hot out, don't you think?
They laugh.
Skilling Hey. You'll be straight. I've been thinking about our next venture. I've been thinking about taking Enron into weather.
Skilling Yeah, for investors or companies whose worth can be damaged by bad weather. We could carve out a market in protecting against that. Have people buy up shares in weather.
Skilling Sort of, yeah. We break up the risk, sell it off in parts like credit derivatives.
Skilling (keen, looking for paper and pen) Sit down. I can explain it to you in minutes.
Skilling It's not, it makes total sense.
Skilling You don't want to hear what's next for the company?
Skilling Sit down! You want to be a doorman the rest of your life? Sit down and listen!
Skilling Sure, I know.
Skilling I just wanted you to understand …
Skilling Didn't mean to be wasting your time.
Skilling Very Enron, though. Dealing in weather?
Skilling nods.
Security Officer leaves.
Skilling's intercom beeps.
Skilling Yes?
Skilling (down phone) Jeff Skilling.I can't answer those questions right now. I am not an accountant. Look, I don't think you understand the complexity of the way we operate here. If you print an article now without our side, I personally think that's unethical. Sure, I'll send someone out, at Enron's expense. He'll fly out and help you understand the questions you're asking.Goddamn.
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