Christmas Eve and an elf lands in a warehouse full of cheap and stolen toys. Gary who's not fully convinced it's an elf, calls Simon, who's not fully convinced Gary's sane anymore. They interrogate the intruder, who pleads with them to release him: kept away from his job, and the steady supply of the almost-narcotic 'Christmas spirit' magical powder, he might just die: ruining his own Christmas, surely, and perhaps everyone else's.
The Night Before Christmas is a hilarious anti-pantomime, which sees Gary and Simon, along with Gary's friend and prostitute Cherry fight it out over the meaning of Christmas, the last box of Power Rangers, and whether or not the midget in the elf suit is all he says he is. It was first performed at The Red Room, London, in December 1995.